watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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