i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
