So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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