She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
