oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
