and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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