i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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