I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
