we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
