Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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