Barsexuality is the new black.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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