Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
