i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
