careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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