just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
