i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
