Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
