My nipple is on Facebook.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Verdict: uncircumcised.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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