I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
