He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
