the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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