i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
