Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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