he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
