There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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