U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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