He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize