wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
