Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
