Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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