I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Someone signed my nipple.
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