I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
