i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
