i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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