So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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