come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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