During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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