Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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