Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
