And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
