hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
