You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
