I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
