Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
