Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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