i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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