i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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