i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
