I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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