Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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